I appreciate that you are angry, Alis. But I suspect the anger is toward yourself for not seeing early on that your husband is not one of the good ones. I have NEVER said it’s the woman’s job to change and spoil a man. I teach women that they should never tolerate disrespect, they should use their intuition when getting involved with a man, and should use Feminine Grace in ALL interactions with EVERYONE, so when they walk away, they can hold their head high, knowing the person has no reason to think they are a bitch, or worse. What I teach is all about a woman being happy, with or without a man. I chose those women as examples of Feminine Grace because of how they are, not how the men in their lives are. We can never guarantee that a man will be of high caliber. But we can guarantee that we will behave in such a way that we are proud of how we handled each situation. I was married for 29 years. People cried when we got divorced because we were a model couple. Then, following the advice of his massage therapist, who had an open marriage, my husband started looking for someone to have an affair with. I eventually left the marriage…and it was the greatest gift of my life. Bitterness and anger does not allow us to grow from a difficult situation. Only an open heart and compassion toward ourselves and others, can give us the perspective that is required to grow into a better person, with greater capacity to be happy and to love. Bitterness and anger turn us into sour little balls of muck that cannot enjoy life with the abandon of childlike wonder. That, more than anything is what I strive to teach. Living life with a childlike wonder.